For some reason my homesick feelings have set in right before our ten month mark in Paris and I'm not sure why. Paris treats me pretty well (minus those horrible ballet girls) and Sir Lancelot and I have a beautiful life here. It's not like I miss anything particular about home or America (except kale, duh). But for some reason my heart has been aching to be back in New York City. I crave the humid city heat off the pavement and weekends with my girlfriends in Central Park.
As I promised myself I wouldn't do, I keep comparing.
Paris is cold. New York is warm.
I don't have a job in Paris (and yes, I've been more than trying!). I had a job in New York.
I've met lovely women in Paris who have made this place so wonderful but... my best friends are in New York.
In Paris, sometimes I feel lonely and lost. In New York I felt on top of the world and in-control.
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| Hudson River |
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| Fifth Avenue, Summer Evening. |
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| Washington Square Park on a balmy eve. |
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| West 11th St. & Greenwich Ave. No filter. |
Looking back, everything was simpler in New York compared to Paris. I'm not sure if it really was but it feels like New York was simple and Paris is not.
As a nostalgic person, I miss the little things that aren't really even there anymore because as we all know things change, people move on... life continues.
It took almost three years of living in Europe before I stopped missing home. Sometimes when we're having a really cold summer (like this year!) I still miss Chicago a little. I think it's ok to compare :)
ReplyDeleteRight there with you. There's something about summers in the states that are NOT comparing to Paris, perhaps the ridiculous weather, lack of barbequing, the beach? It's good to compare though because it makes you appreciate what you have had, what you do have, and what you want to have in the future.
ReplyDeleteAh Paris can seem so harsh when you're feeling homesick, I can't imagine anyone moving from New York to Paris though, NY looks amazing in your photographs.
ReplyDeleteI've only just discovered your blog, I'm going to sit and read through your old posts, take a look at my blog if you like, I've been in Paris for 18 months now x
http://leftbankmanc.blogspot.fr/
Your post just made me want to send a hug... Hang in there, I'm thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteLike Ellen, I just wanted to send you a hug. I don't have any magical words of wisdom that will fix everything - but I do understand exactly how you feel.
ReplyDeleteHugs from me too! I don't have any magic solutions either - life in France is complicated, at least until you figure out how everything works. My tricks when I was feeling homesick in the early days was to hop a train to Paris, spend some time with other expats, hit up a Starbucks and see a movie in VO. I guess you've already got all of those at your disposition though, so nothing special there. But maybe that's why you've managed to hang in there for 10 months? Trust me, it's a lot worse à la campagne when you're all alone and there are even fewer pieces of home!
ReplyDeleteAnyways, hopefully this weekend will te rebooster le moral - I for one am majorly looking forward to it ! :)
Some of the best advice I got before I moved to France was from my step-dad. He said that when someone makes a big change, their life turns into a W.
ReplyDeleteYou start off super high and excited, then drop down low, feel a little better, hit the low point again, and then you are back up to the high happy part. I've tried to not get too excited and happy when I'm at the top of the W (friends are coming to visit! Cashier wasn't mean to me today!) and not get to upset at the low part of the W (all alone again, cashier rolled her eyes and pfffted me for not using exact change). It's been two years and now instead of a W it's more like a little m.
Love from Montpellier straight to your Parisian door. I know the feeling so well. It may not help too much, but we're all in it with you. And you're so lucky to love a city the way you love NYC. To have the experience of two of the best cities in the world and to be able to compare.
ReplyDeleteGo to Chipotle, to Starbucks and start packing for Nice, the beach always fixes everything for me.
gros bisous
aidan
aww, I remember feeling this way. Don't feel guilty about missing your former life because you live in such a "glamourous" city.
ReplyDeleteI still get down about the job stuff here. I was making some nice cash over in NY. and am still waiting for that big job break! Things run different here, especially when it comes to education. I find HR here is less creative where you have to have like a diploma in hat shop commerce to work in a hat shop. Let's just start a business! : )
Anyway, I can't wait to see you. I think you will be cheered up very soon!
Its the weather babe... we'll drink your sorrows away tomorrow night!!
ReplyDeleteBig love to you! I remember this feeling well when I was living in London. Sometime it's hard not to romanticise our former 'easier' lives back home. I haven't hit the homesickness yet as I am well and truly still in the honeymoon period, but I am happy to be a substitute blogging friend for you here in Paris!! xo
ReplyDeleteOh Kristen! I wish I could wrap you in hugs and feed you kale until you felt better. The homesickness sucks, but unfortunately, it is what it is, that is, sucky sadness. But, if you are ever feeling a bit blue, you are more than welcome down here in The LPV where Fifty would cover you in kisses and then we could head over to Montpellier to visit Aidan and her magical cocktails. It's a recipe for happiness :)
ReplyDeleteKristen, although in 37 years, I have never felt a moment of homesickness myself, I'd like to give you a big hug too. My 30-year old son decided last October to move to Australia for a couple of years and he has been homesick very often since he moved. He's putting up with life in Sydney at the moment because he's gotten into street photography in a big way. I must say you're having extremely bad luck with the summer this year. It may not be making me homesick (I grew up in tropical Queensland where it was hot and sunny all the time!) but it's certainly making me depressed. Lack of light (not every sun) has a very detrimental effect on people's well-being. So in lieu of sun, try and get as much light as you can. I've been in Blois this week and have been working next to a big window. I try and go down into the garden even if it's for just a few minutes as soon as the sun comes out for a bit. Looks like there'll be sun in the morning this week so try and make the most of it! Good luck.
ReplyDeleteMy theory is that you have to feel the low of the lows to feel the high of the highs.
ReplyDeleteYou know you've really made the move when the honeymoon period is over- when you're frustrated with things beyond getting lost and trouble with the language, calculating the currency and lamenting not packing this or that.
I've had my share of lows so I know what it's like- and what it's like once you realize that your hometown will always be there for you, even when you're cheating on it a little by falling in love with another city ;)
Oh, my dear ... I hear you. I'm feeling it right now too for my beloved San Francisco. Let's go get some lunch when you're back from Cannes and trade stories about our cities, old and new.
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